Empathize and Give Hope

When my kids were little, I would use a magic marker to draw a happy face on their hand when they did something good!

The happy face is a reward but it’s not a candy or something tangible. We want them to feel inherently happy they listened. The drawing is more like a reinforcement of the behaviour, they look at it, feel good because it reminds them they are good inside and it made mom/dad happy!

Was reading Daniel Siegel’s book “No Drama Discipline,” I was struck by his second point under his REDIRECT model — this is to “embrace emotions”. So, say yes to desires and no to behaviours, & redirect to appropriate actions.

So if your preschooler is visiting you in the night, say: “I know you like seeing mom in the middle of the night, we have a special bond that no one can break. But, coming to my room stops my sleep and makes me too tired to take you to the library. Next time you want me, hug your teddy instead and remember you’ll see me in the morning. Won’t it be nice to have breakfast in the morning together after we’ve had a good sleep?”

Confident Dads

Dads can become confident in putting kids down for bed, regardless of age. My clients love the easy and straightforward routines I give them. And they work! Your child learns to trust in Dad’s abilities. This helped a recent client of mine, when her own elderly father needed her help and she was able to leave the house easily to care for him. She knew “Dad’s got this!”

Supporting mothers

Many of my clients feel alone on their motherhood journey and just need someone to coach and encourage them. I am a responsive and intuitive coach for my clients and they feel comfortable opening up to me. Today I started a call with a mom and she told me that her babe had just been started on reflux meds by her doctor. I said “why don’t we postpone the call & wait until they’ve taken effect?” I provided her a plan going forward and assured her that together we could tackle whatever came, on a call in a few weeks. The quality of my client support sets me apart from the rest!